by Dickie Schlueter on February 9, 2014

With all the internet social media and applications out there, a person can use a smart phone to do almost anything by themselves. Industrious people could run a business with a smart phone. White pages. Yellow pages. College courses. Any book. Expert advice. Accounting services. Printing services. The list goes on and on.

I never use my reference books. Why risk a paper cut? I have stared at my inherited volumes of Britannica Encyclopedias taking up space since I graduated from college. I could not give them away. Then it hit me. This winter is frigin’ frigid. Heated the house all January. Hey, I got Siri now! If she doesn’t know it, Google does. I have the rest of my reference books ready for February.

Talk about taking up valuable space—the question must undeniably be asked—why do talented people need bosses? Be honest now. When was the last time your boss actually helped you in your job? I know what you’re thinking. I hate bosses. Not at all. I have had a couple very good ones.

I believe that there are three types of bosses and people;

  1. GOOD…Those that their contributions add to the bottom line of a company—their absence would hurt the company. If this person were to leave the company, a huge experience hole would exist. Sales would be negatively impacted.
  2. BAD…Those that their contributions do not effect the bottom line of a company—their absence would not affect the company other than saving their salary cost. If this person were to leave the company, no one would notice.
  3. UGLY…Those that their contributions subtract from the bottom line of a company—their absence would help the company. If this person were to leave the company, a dark cloud would dissipate. Sales would be positively impacted. Key personnel turnover would decrease. Morale would improve. Fewer people would call in sick. There would be happy hour celebrations. FOR WEEKS.

The following proposed app is for those companies where most of the managers do more harm than good or nothing at all. Those that fit in to categories 2 and 3 above. So you cost cutting bean counters out there, pay attention.

A clever bean counter may steal my first idea and replace useless managers with a ‘GET TO WORK’  sign. Forget that. It can be ignored in short order. But what happens if we make the sign mobile? What better way than using a smart phone.

The time has come for the Manager app for smart phones. Some options;

  • It should be free. No worker bee will pay to be harassed at work by their phones.
  • It should respond to voice requests in a authoritative yet pleasant voice.
  • It may answer questions with more questions.
  • It can put on a dumb face and say nothing.
  • It may make the user so pissed off that they will trash their phones.
  • Or it can actually supply valuable information.
  • There is really no limit to what it could do. Which means that it will be much more helpful than a human boss.
  • Like Mr. Potato Head, the end user can create their own boss head and with a poke of a finger modify the face (black eye, bruises, missing teeth, all in good fun).

Several apps can be developed with a wide range of capabilities;

  • AskMyBoss—Answers will be canned and useless—like what you were used to.
  • WakeUpTheTyrant—there will be no answers here. Only direct orders. The new tasks will have nothing to do with the job at hand. For those used to being screamed at, made to work OT without pay, take no vacations—you will feel right at home.
  • MayIHelpYouPeon—Answers are meant to ridicule and de-motivate—like many of you out there are used to. This app will let those people wean themselves off slowly before progressing to a more humanizing app.
  • AskRealBoss—Answers from this app will came from a data base or a real person. A fee will be charged to the company when a real person is involved. This app will seek to motivate and train. Positive feedback will be provided with input to upper management. Workers will be made to feel appreciated.

As an aside, the laid off managers could start their own ANSWERING Service for the more comprehensive apps. Of course, like so many websites, customer feedback would be part of the apps. After time, people could direct their questions to the most highly rated managing expert or simply go to FAQ.

Obviously, many apps can be developed in this vane. I am sharing this with the world in the hopes that an app development company will pick it up and run with it. If anything can promote work place happiness, these apps can do it. Do you hear me EffectiveUI, Fuzz, [x]cube Labs, Appnovatio?

Let’s look at the advantages- just a sample…

  • The workers will be spared unnecessary meetings—productivity goes up.
  • The workers will be spared rude behavior from their bosses—productivity goes up.
  • Workers need not search for their bosses who hide themselves away to avoid employee interaction—productivity goes up.
  • Workers can contact their bosses when away from work—productivity goes up.
  • The only downside is that companies will no longer need so many bosses. Downside?

Once these apps filter in and are accepted into the cyber world, I will look into replacing our Congress with an app. CongressAction—You turn it on and it does nothing. It will be free until you use it.

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