Ask Dickie

Do you have a burning question for Dickie? Post it in the comments, and you’ll get an answer.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Leslie August 18, 2011 at 3:23 pm

How’s this?

Dickie Schlueter August 19, 2011 at 8:05 pm: I think I know what you are holding in your hand. There are government regulations that delineate strict controls about that kind of thing and severe penalties may be imposed if caught by the authorities. Please put it way before you hurt someone (or yourself). Then ask another question.

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A. O. Super Muscle, Ph.D, in beekeeping and honey collection September 4, 2011 at 12:18 am

I have an intense fear of peanut butter. I scream like a little girl, cry like a newborn baby, and start sweating like a large fat man when I see full peanut butter jars in supermarkets, near public toilets or in my couch cushions. My super fantastic friend Amy says that I am just being a wimp, and that I should either have my second uterus surgically removed or start taking meds for my early onset of dementia. She’s always right, but I thought I’d get your input on this particular fear.

Dickie Schlueter September 17, 2011 at 1:04 pm: Dear A.O.S.M.
There are drugs to help you w/ your fears. Sadly they all come in suppository form. The Pills are rather large and very sticky if not handled correctly. Only one Dr. in your area prescribes them and he has enormous hairy hands. If I can be of further help, please contact http://www.rubberskeleton.com

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A. O. S. M., Ph.D., in Geriatrics and Pediatrics September 18, 2011 at 1:31 am

Thanks DS, suppositories are always my first choice to deliver any drug at any time, food or drink, however, due to my serious case of traveling hemorrhoids, excessive hair, bacon addiction, and ongoing problem with my sweaty legs sticking to the leather of my drivers seat and headrest, that ideal route of delivery would be high risk. Although I am a risk taker, so I’m going to suck it up, cover my hardwood floors with toilet paper, and build a bird sanctuary and weight room inside my house. A bird sanctuary for olfactory pleasure, a weight room to build up some muscle mass, so that the birds don’t carry me off to their nesting grounds.

Steve Tomporowski March 31, 2013 at 2:02 pm